[Kakashi & Sakura] ; It's All Rumors, Darling
: Hatake Kakashi + Haruno Sakura
It's All Rumors, Darling
Comments: Yeah, whatever. Shoot me. Hate me. Love me. Have my babies. It's all good, but obviously, I'm on crack. Next time you're at an early-morning sale at Wal-Mart, do me a favor and buy me a new brain, please.
Kakashi stopped, carton of milk halfway to his cup, and stared at Sakura blankly. "Do repeat that. I must not have heard you correctly."
"I said," and she finished nibbling at her carrot, one finger absently keeping place as she read through one of the more interesting articles in the newspaper he'd left strewn across his counter, "Shikamaru said you were sex on legs. He stopped talking once he realized I was behind him, though."
"I'd hope so," Kakashi muttered, finally filling his glass and putting the milk away with a sigh. The Interrogation was never much of an interrogation - just an offhand remark, as if to say "I know what you did last summer" without even the slightest hint of dire warning in her tone. But there was warning in the lack of it, and any good man knew to heed it.
Kakashi rather liked to think of himself as a good man. It was infinitely better than thinking of himself as a good woman. "Apparently Naruto's been spreading those rumors again."
Her head jerked up in complete surprise. "The bathhouse rumors?"
"Mmm." He sipped at his milk, relaxing at the shock in her words. The danger was over, and safely blamed upon another party.
"That idiot." She frowned and returned to her careful perusal of the newspaper. "That was debunked last year."
Kakashi smiled faintly. "Apparently spies have short memories."
"I prefer the term saboteur. It has a more elegant ring to it." Sakura sighed, giving up on the article to slam her forehead against the counter. "Not again. I'm going to have to deal with the sly looks and gossip, and this time they're never going to fade completely away!"
Kakashi laughed. "Come now, Sakura. There are worse things."
"Worse?" Sakura raised her head slowly, gifting him the deadliest glare she could muster through her utter woe. "For sex on legs, you don't know women at all. Do you have any idea how they crowd up to me, just to ask if the rumors are true?" Her voice rose, almost shrill in her melodrama. "'Oh, darling, isn't it so hard to deal with all of him every night?' The double entendres aren't even sly or witty. No, they're out there, bald and bare-faced, and those nitwits honestly think that they're being... Ahhhh!"
She slammed her forehead against the counter again, ignoring Kakashi's wince, and said with a groan, "If only Naruto had said you were small. Miniscule, even! Or that you have an ugly face beneath the mask! At least then I'd get honest commiseration, not those simpers and smirks!"
"But he'd be lying," Kakashi pointed out, male pride stung at the thought of being termed 'small'. He couldn't quite argue the ugly - not with a huge scar over half his face - but definitely, definitely, he was going to fight 'small'.
Sakura glared at him. "Not by much."
"I'm perfectly average. That is not small."
"It's smaller than huge," she said tightly, and sat mulishly until he gave up and went back to his milk, giving the conversation up as a draw.